Last night I got the hiccups after dinner due to stuffing my face with great Chinese food. I had them for a couple of hours but thought I’d cured them after I lay down to sleep – I literally just said to my body “ok, stop the hiccups now”, and they did, and I fell asleep.

But I woke up with infuriating hiccups, so I looked on the internet for cures. Here are the promising ones that I found, as well as the one that finally worked:

Drink a glass of water while holding your breath

After about seven or eight slow sips you get an intense panicky drowning sensation. I tried it a few times and managed 15 breaths before just not being able to hack it. I’ll have to apply some EFT/zen techniques to being able to accept the drowning feeling. Hiccups continued…

Massage your diaphragm

Ben suggested getting someone else to get someone to press against your diaphragm for a minute, but pushing quite deep with two hands under your ribs. No-one else was around so I tried this myself but couldn’t get it to work.

Digital Rectal Massage

I was getting quite desperate by the time I found some scientific research – it had actually won awards – that described this technique. It was lacking a step-by-step description so I improvised based on what they had written. I actually did feel a calming sensation throughout the area of my diaphragm, but the hiccups continued.

Stretching against a doorframe whilst holding your breath

This did it in about a minute. The site I found suggested you could get it down to 12 seconds if you have frequent hiccups. God forbid. Basically, put your hands against the top of the doorframe and lean forwards so your back is arched and your belly, chest, and diaphragm are stretched. Then hold your breath.

Boom! No hiccups.

I still have that hiccuppy sort of chest tension feeling though, I may take an antacid if it doesn’t go away.

I am especially keen to hear from people who can get the digital rectal massage to work. Next time I’m around someone with hiccups I’ll see if they will try it.

Update: Diaphragm Stretch worked for Beth the other night

I figured it was time that Planet Magnus lived up to its moniker. I finally feel able to describe what I’m experiencing without worrying about what other people think of it. It’s up to the reader whether they get angry or decide I’m nuts, it really won’t affect me.

The truth is just whatever you need to hear at a particular time in order to move forward. So I am writing this blog for those who will find that it is true for them.

To give you an idea, and save you some time, if this isn’t for you, in the last month or two I have:

• Had vivid memories of when the Martians started a war in Atlantis, 25,000 years ago.
• Had a procedure to correct a spinal defect present in all human beings that prevents energy travelling from the spine to the brain… a defect deliberately created in our DNA by aliens.
• Become aware that in a past life I was a German poet called Clemens Brentano.
• Had etheric crystals removed from my energy body including an imprint of a suit of armour I wore in a previous incarnation on Arcturus.
• Had psychic surgery for a rash caused by guilt over past lives spent murdering, raping, and sacrificing virgins.

All of the above are or were true for me, and by that I mean I am less concerned by the literal truth - just that they were what I needed to understand in order to grow as a human and spiritual being.

Everything I’ve listed above improved my life in some way or another… otherwise, what would be the point.

Please save any skepticism for elsewhere. Too many crazy, and concrete things have happened to me now to waste time with skepticism. This shit is for real. If you don’t want to deal with it then go download the latest series of Lost and lose yourself in it…

If you’ve found this website, it’s likely because you are ready to hear something contained within it. So join me, and we’ll see how deep the rabbithole goes.